... his journal

[cuddlytedi]

(first entry)

friends with benefits., this is how they describe the type of relationship we have.,
from strangers to friends and now we are trap in that imaginary line between friends and
something more serious than that.,

the uncertainty has become comfortable sanctuary for us., for me who doesn't want to be trap in
the word "commitment" and for her who has been taken for granted all her life.,

two lost souls met., both yearning., searching for something., but in the end could we ever find
the place we meant to be., the things that we're for us to have???!!.,

(next entry)

the uncertainty is becoming more unclear for the both of us.,

though she never told me., i know the feelings she had for me is becoming more and more deeper.,
i know what she is thinking., moving forward or moving on., seeing her suffer hurts me too.,

but what am i to do., this place has become more comfortable to me., i don't want to lose her.,
but by staying here seem like i am going to lose her anyway.,

(the decision)

i have decided to cross the line between us., i now know the path i want to be.,
i path with her., seems like i found what i have been searching for., the future for us
together may be uncertain but for now i know what is certain i want to be with her.,
together with her in that uncertain future.,

(that day)

Fate do plays a harsh game., when i am now ready to hold on to her more., she has decided to
let me go., the day i decided to tell her that i want to spent my whole life with her.,
is the day she decided to give me back my freedom., the ring that was meant as our bond.,
now serve as a bitter reminder of the day i lost her.,

(the following days)

Everyday’s the same., the routinely days., though we promise on that day to remain friends.,
it's been days, weeks, months since we last talked., though it just one call., one message.,
a little push., the awkwardness of that night is still stopping us.,

yes i do still miss her., i do love her dearly., but the coward me can't seems to fight for
her., is she happy now??!!., happy in that certainty she wanted??!!., does she misses that
uncertainty we once had??!!.,

(the second meeting)

she is still the same., same awkwardness like the first time we met then., those eyes.,
that smile., i miss her more., but does she??!!., she still have those teary eyes when
we talked bout the past., asking each other how's it been., only brings awkward silence.,

glancing at my hands., with a bittersweet smile., "seems like you have found the someone".,

"Yes i had found that person".,

if she had only knew that this ring that i wore were meant to be hers.,
this is the ring that could have served as my promise for her.,
now only reminder of the dream i hoped to.,

"I have found her then., but lost her along the way., now i have found her again".,

(the future ahead)

from strangers., to friends., to something uncertain., back to being strangers., now back to being friends
again., this time i know what to do next.,

if two hearts are meant to be., no matter how long and painful the journey is., they will find
each other again.,

from the start it has been always us., it has been always me and her., from that uncertainty
we had then., now we found something certain., the love we have for each other.,