Linger

Aug. 19th, 2015 11:28 am
cuddlytedi: (Default)


    again memories flown.,
    the day you left.,
    as if you have taken everything with you.,
    the only thing left.,
    the helpless me who still longs to be with you.,
   
    those moments that have passed by.,
    still lingers in my heart.,
    the you that i loved the most.,
    the you that have left me.,

    though i still want to embrace.,
    but how can i.,
    the us that Fate has blocked.,
    Love we hoped to last suddenly ended.,
   

    Separation, the cruel last gift.,
    Death has given us., 
    still the stupid me weaves.,
    future that can never be.,
    tomorrow that we can never have.,

    to lessen the pain of Reality.,
    that our story has ended.,
    still i weep.,
    tears of "I miss you" and "I love you".,
 

tears

Aug. 19th, 2015 09:37 am
cuddlytedi: (Default)

sadness is so consuming.,
though you’re not alone.,
though there are people around.,
you still feel that emptiness.,

the colors of the world are there.,
but all i see are shades of grey.,
the warmth sun can’t seem melt.,
this coldness that i’m feeling.,

the love and concern around.,
are more than any person will ever want.,
but why do i always feel that.,
there is something missing.,

bless yes truly bless.,
appreciative yes so grateful.,
but still feeling selfish.,
wanting more., badly wanting more.,

BREEZE

Aug. 6th, 2015 10:50 am
cuddlytedi: (Default)
she came to love the wind
the breeze thats blowing her away
and making her dance to his tune

his warmth that melts her heart
every time he smiles

his coldness that numbs her
each time he insensitively ignores her

though the leaf tries to escape
the whirlwind that traps her

it seems too late now
for she has fallen deeply
into his spell that enchants her


but how far can the wind take her
will she be able to hold on
or keep up with the rush???

will she be able to survive
tagging along with the swift wind
to that unknown place????
cuddlytedi: (Default)
"each of us wears our own mask to cover the sides we want to hide., but sometimes
no matter how hard we try to hide it, it just shows., a person’s true intention can never be hidden no matter how he hides it.,
cuddlytedi: (Default)
"what makes him different???., he came at the time when i almost lost my faith in love., when he smiled and said “good morning”., somehow he made me believed and make me want to try again., though i know from the start it will be one-sided., i still loved., and even if in the eyes of others i’m so pitiful for my love was never returned., still feel bless and will forever be thankful to him., for he somehow unknowingly led me back to my old self., the one who believed in miracles and fairy tales., the girl who loved without expecting something in return., and most especially someone who love in spite and despite of.,
cuddlytedi: (Default)
i hide inside my shell to protect myself and hide my insecurities., but perhaps it became too thick that no one can break through it.,

DRIFTERS

Aug. 5th, 2015 11:11 pm
cuddlytedi: (Default)

A spark is where it all begun

A single moment in the sun

From a sweet smile and single glance

We take the risk and took our chance

With the unseen and uncertain

Courageously we faced our fears

And gently wipe other’s tears

We held on to each other’s hand

Hoping the magic won’t end

And only true love will remain

But then fate is not on our side

The moment we shared had to end

And put the love we have aside

As real as it may seem

The world we had is just a dream

Illusion of what we hoped for

cuddlytedi: (Default)
it’s not just about the MONEY that comes with it rather it is more of the SELF WORTH that it gives that MATTERS.
cuddlytedi: (Default)
.."i can never be like his daisy" wept the sunflower .,
realizing the fact that the sun will never shines brightly for her.,
wanting to turn away from the sun, but how??!!.,
for she had already fallen for the sun's ray., 
that unintentionally makes her cold days warm.,
too selfish of her to want more.,
also how pitiful that she begs and long.,
for somehow be shined on and somehow be notice.,
finally the lonely sunflower decided to just walk away.,
though she would miss the sight of the sun.,
her heart flashes pictures of him and his daisy together.,
imagining the smiles he flashes just for her.,
which the sunflower hopes to be hers.,
with a little tears in her eyes.,
she decided to stop this painful one-sided love.,
whispering to herself.,
how cruel love really is.,
she dreaming and hoping to be loved by the sun.,

while he brightly shines on the pretty and charming daisy.,
whom he can't confess to.,
and the daisy who doesn't ever notice the special attention given by the sun.,

cuddlytedi: (Default)
REALITY is seeing that we are not meant to be., FANTASY is dreaming that someday you’ll be mine and i’ll be yours.,

Someday

Aug. 5th, 2015 03:26 pm
cuddlytedi: (Default)

Someday…In this lifetime of mine, 
I’ll find him, the man of my dreams, 
That one person  
who would not take me for granted
And who would give me
The love I really deserve…

Someday…I know deep in my heart,
There he will be
Ready to care and to share
his life with me…

Someday…when my heart
Is too tired and torn apart
With pain and hurt,
I know there
In his loving arms,
I’ll find the comfort
I need…

And someday…when hope is gone
And doubt is all that surrounds me,
There I know I’ll find 
His love shining through
And guiding me towards him…

Someday…until that day
Someday…when that day
Becomes today

Someday…Someday…
‘Til then I’ll be hoping
And praying for someday…

Someday….Someday…

cuddlytedi: (Default)
if “I LOVE YOU” can fix everything then I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU…i’ll say it forever!!!!.,
cuddlytedi: (Default)

If I had the courage then I would have hold on to you.,
I would have told you the words I’m longing to say.,
The feelings my heart is concealing all these years.,
The love the has grown all these years., 

If I have the courage I would have risk everything I had.,
Just for a single chance to tell you how much I loved you.,
For a chance to embrace you tightly.,
And feel the warmth of your kiss.,

I should have not missed those chances I have.,
I should have treated those moments as my last.,
‘Coz now it felt like time passed us by.,
And I lost my only chance with you.,

All these years I thought, you will always be there.,
Perhaps that’s the reason why I’d took you for granted.,
Believing that your love for me will never fade.,
But I was wrong., 

I was to insensitive to feel your pain.,
How naïve of me to overlook your tears.,
I never seen that your love for me is slowly dying.,
How stupid of me not to realize.,

Slowly you slip away from my hands.,
Instead of pulling you towards me.,
I’d allowed you to leave.,
And never told you to stay.,

For it’s the only thing a coward like me can do.,
Though my heart longs for you so badly.,
My hands are tied with someone else.,
Who I had promise forever with.,

And now, you’re  telling me “goodbye”
‘coz you have found your true happiness.,
The one that made you smile again.,
And made you believe that you can love again., 

The one who wipes your tears.,
Tears that was cause by my selfishness.,
The one who can openly express his love for you.,
Not like me who hides in the cold.,

Now looking at your face.,
Seeing the mixed emotions in your eyes.,
Sight of tears and joy.,
Breaks my heart drowning in despair., 

Wishing to hold on to something I held on before.,
But now it to late to ask you to stay.,
For this heart can’t promise you anything.,
Can’t assure you everlasting happiness.,

I flashed a fake smile.,
And wished for your happiness.,
A life you always dreamt of, the one you deserve.,
The one we once hoped to share.,

As we began to walk our own different paths.,
Slowly sadness surrounds me.,
Tears starts to flow like rain.,
Flooding my heart with memories of the past.,

Saying to myself I lost someone dearly.,
A part of my life., a friend., a companion.,
My source of happiness., a shoulder to lean on.,
The one who I truly love., and truly loved me.,

cuddlytedi: (Default)
ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH is not just a tag line., it’s a way of living., it’s a constant reminder to never give up and believe the impossible.,

'TIL THEN

Aug. 5th, 2015 01:08 pm
cuddlytedi: (Default)
lost wounded hurt and dying.,
the memories still linger.,
though i try to close my eyes.,
still the image of you remains.,
trying to deny to myself.,
that you still have my heart.,
though i’m moving forward.,
a part of me is still there.,
stranded in that place.,
where we ended things.,
and called it quits.,


alone, longing, waiting.,
for something longed forgotten.,
and doesn’t really exist.,
hoping that it’s not the end.,
that some how, one day.,
we could return to our used to be.,
to a love we once shared.,
and hoped to last.,
that fate won’t be this cruel.,


Praying, hoping and believing
though there’s no chance.,
for destiny to bring us together.,
this foolish heart of mine.,
still believes and refuses to give up.,
for it doesn’t know the words end and goodbye.,
for Forever and ‘til we meet again
are the only words that matter., 

FIXED

Aug. 5th, 2015 01:06 pm
cuddlytedi: (Default)

….pang ilang beses na ba., eto nanaman tayo., paulit ulit na lang., di ba nakakasawa na??.,

may papakilala ka., magseselos naman ako ng palihim., iiyak ka kase naghiwalay kayo., magtatanong ulit ang isip ko kung bakit di na lang ako., habang niyayakap at pinapatahan ka.,

ewan ko ba kung bakit ganito na lang lagi ang papel ko sa buhay mo., alam mo naman di ba nung pa na gusto at mahal na talaga kita., at alam ko naman noon pa kung bakit di pwede maging tayo., at kung bakit hanggang dito lang talaga ako sa buhay mo.,

minsan pag tinatanong nila ko kung bakit i prefering to be single., dahil ba umaasa pa rin ba akong maging tayo., lagi kong sinasabing hindi na., at alam ko na bff lang talaga tayo., pero sa totoo., meron pa rin isang strand of hope na sana nga mabago yung situation natin.,

hanggang ngayon sa tuwing naalala ko yung nakaraan., kung pano tayo nagkita hanggang sa kung pano naging ganito ang situation natin., eh nangingiti at napapaluha pa rin ako., hibang talaga ko sayo nun., eh hanggang ngayon pa rin naman di ba.,

ewan ko ba., change of environment ang gusto ko lang nung kaya lumipat ako ng work nun., na bored lang ako sa dati kong trabaho kaya ako lumipat sa inyo., pero ibang excitement ang natagpuan ko.,

ewan ko ba sa daming tao sa lugar na yun sayo lang talaga ako na aliw., lahat sila kinakausap ako., binabati., tinatanong., pero ikaw naka-upo ka lang., palihim na tumitingin., ma-ingay ang personality ko kaya siguro na-attract ako sayo kase total opposite yung personality mo sa akin.,

ang tanging bakanteng pwesto lang nun ay ang cubicle na nasa tabi mo., ewan ko ba kung bakit di mo pa rin ako kinausap., kahit umupo na ko sa tabi mo., ngumiti ka lang tapos balik sa ginagawa mo., ewan ko ba kung bakit lalo ako na curious sayo.,  

kaw ang project officer ko at ako naman ang assistant mo., ewan ko ba kung bakit sa kinadami daming project officer sayo pa ko napunta., at sa kinadami daming assistant na maari mo i-request ako pa napili mo.,

sa simula puro trabaho lang ang pinag-uusapan natin., kase sabi ng ibang collegue natin eh ayaw mo raw pinag-uusapan buhay mo., di ka rin raw pala kwento., girlfriend??!!., syempre nung pa lang interesando na ko malaman., sabi nila wala raw., di ka man lang raw nagdadala ng kahit sino mula nung pumasok ka dito., pero may hinala na sila nun., hinala???!!., anu yun., inosenteng tanong ko., pero imbis na sagutin eh., ngumiti lang sila.,

habang tumatagal., feeling ko lalo ako lumalapit sayo., siguro nga simula na rin nahuhulog., ina-anticipate ko na lagi ang coffee date natin every morning., coffee date???!!., oo para sa akin pero alam ko na simple pag-inom lang ng kape yun sayo.,

yung totoo nung niyaya mo kong samahan ka sa family reunion nyo., super nag-effort ang lola mo., kulang na lang ikutin  ko ang buong mall., yung totoo??!!!., inikot ko talaga para maghanap ng bonggang bonggang damit., aaminin ko nag feeling na talaga ko nung mga oras na yun., sino naman kase hindi., coffee dates., lunches at minsan dinner pa., and now metting the family ang  drama.,

kahit sa pamilya mo ay malihim ka., super close ka sa mom at mga kapatid mong babae.,pero di rin talaga pala kwento.,  middle child kaya siguro raw ganyan personality mo., your father died when you were in high school., at ako lang raw ang sinama mong girl friend sa inyo., kahit alam ko two words ang girl friend na binangit nila ay single word ang prinoprocess ng utak ko., mula pa nun feelingera na ko.,

alam ko na mula nun moment na yun  eh alam mo na., na lumalampas na sa friendship ang tingin ko sa iyo., sometimes i cross that boundary., at sa twing nangyayari yun na lumalabis ako eh lagi mo ko binabalik sa lugar ko., sa lugar na kung nasan ako ngayon.,

nung una aaminin ko., di ko maintindihan., bakit ba ayaw mo i-cross natin yun line., di mo ba ako gusto???!!., kung hindi eh bakit di mo nalang ako palayuin sayo., be rude to me., bakit sobrang bait mo pa rin sa akin., yung totoo nakakagulo pa ng utak yang mga ngiti mo sa twing sinasabi ko nang pabiro na mahal kita., at sasagutin mo ko na loka loka talaga ko., siguro alam mo na di na biro yun tuwing sinasabi ko sayo yun.,

nung gabing nagpasundo ako sayo., dahil sa sobrang kalasingan., the night i really crossed the boundary and kissed you., aned you kissed me back., then stopped., sinabing di tama eto.,  di talaga kita maintindihan nun., anu ba talaga problem., bakit mo pinipigilan yun sarili mo., friendzoned lang ba talaga ko??!!., we pretended that night never happen., siguro dahil akala mo lasing lang ako at di naalala yun.,

pero dumating na yung araw na masasagot yun mga tanung ko., yung araw na minsan ni-reregret kong nangyari., na sana di na lang.,

pinakilala mo sya sa akin., pinakilala mo yung ikaw na di kilala ng iba., yung ikaw na tinatago mo sa iba., na kahit sa pamilya mo di mo kayang sabihin.,  dahil natakot kang baka di ka nila  tanggapin., ewan ko ba sabi mo you wanted to be honest to me., pero feeling ko kaya mo ginawa yun dahil you want me to stop., i hated myself dahil di ko nakita yung totoong ikaw., bakit ba di ko nakita., dahil ba mahal kita kaya nineglect ko yung obvious., anu na ang gagawin ko ngayon., daming tanung sa utak ko., na wala na kong magawa kungdi iiyak na lang.,

bawat sabihin mo sinasagot ng utak ko at niluluha na lang ng mga mata ko., pero bakit di ko masabi sayo.,

 ayaw mo kong saktan???!!., gusto mo lang maging totoo??!!!., pero bakit nasasaktan ako., bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi., bakit hinayaan mong mahulog ako ng ganito sayo., matagal  mo na balak sabihin??!!., ayaw mo  ko mawala sayo., bakit sa tingin mo di ako mawawala sayo ngayon., ano mahal mo ko pero di sa level na gusto ko??!!!., anung gusto mong isagot ko., anung gusto mong gawin ko., anung gagawin ko ngayon.,

nung mga oras na yun binalak ko na talagang lumayo., iwan ka., sobrang sakit., di ko maintindian ang nararadaman ko., umalis sa lugar na yun., pero aaminin ko nung nakita kong pilit mong pinipigilan ang pagpatak ng mga luha mo., yung lungkot sa mga mata mo., na parang sinasabi wag kitang iwan., intindihin kita., mas umibabaw ang pagmamahal ko sayo kaysa sa galit na nararamdaman ko., wala na kong ibang nagawa kung di yakapin ka., na para bang sinasabi ko., oo di ako aalis dito lang ako., di kita iiwan., di ako lalayo., iitindihin kita., na-iintindihan kita.,

siguro mula nung araw na yun tinaggap ko na ang papel na kaya mo lang i-offer sa akin., yung papel na hanggang ngayon ay ginagampanan ko pa rin., ang maging matalik mong kaibigan., nakikinig sa mga kwento mo., kahati sa saya at lungkot mo., konsintidor sa mga desisyon at relasyon mo., na minsan at kahit hanggan ngayon pangarap kong maging parte.,

anu nanaman ba ang ngayari., wala na kayo???!!., pinagpalit ka na ba nya sa iba., di mo raw ba kaya ibigay yung hinahanap nya., niloko ka ba nya., nakahanap ba sya ng mas higit sayo., alin dun ang dahilan., alin nanaman ba dun ang dahilan??!!.,

sa twing ganyan ka mas nasasaktan ako., kase alam mo naman kaya kitang mahalin higit pa sa kaya nila ibigay sayo.,  pero alam ko di mo kayang tangapin yun., at hindi yung ang mapapasaya sayo.,

nagagalit ako sa kanila kase binabalewala ka nila., nagagalit ako sayo kase binabale wala mo ko., pero mas nagagalit ako sa sarili ko kase hinahayaan ko ang sarili ko mapunta sa ganitong situation.,

“bakit ikaw mahal mo ko, bakit sila di nila ko kayang pahalagahan tulad ng pagpapahalaga mo sa akin.,” mga salitang sinabi mo habang humihikbi.,

“yan din ang tanung ko sayo., alam mo naman pala na mahal kita pero bakit ba di pwede maging ako., ako na lang., pwede naman”., mga salitang sinasabi ng puso ko habang maluhaluha kitang niyayakap.,

cuddlytedi: (Default)
"sometimes we think we are the perfect match for that someone we hope to be ours.,and promise that if given a chance we wouldn’t commit the same mistakes others did., but when given a chance we end up doing the same things too., we become the same monster we once hate and hope to defeat.,and in the end we end up hurting the person we want to protect.,
cuddlytedi: (Default)
the one thing i hate the most is that thing that is place on that specific part of a person., a tiny piece that binds a person’s heart and future., a thing that holds so many memories that a person like me can never hold on to., a constant reminder that make a person like me to step back and turn away from the path i dreamed of taking., a thing that can cause tears and pain in my heart., and makes me envious of that person who received and gave it., but ironically it is what i hope to have., the only thing i wanted ever since i’m a child., the thing i wanted to receive and give., the thing i promise myself to never took off ever once i have it.,
cuddlytedi: (Default)
CHANCES GRABBED BECOMES DESTINY., CHANCES NOT TAKEN BECOMES WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN.,
cuddlytedi: (Default)
… i am trying to weave a story., a story of second chance., in where i am given another chance to be with you., in where you have given this helpless girl a chance to love you., and be loved by you., but the stupidest and weirdest thing is., even in this story., in which i am in control of the storyline., i am still drawn to create a sad ending., a sad ending to our story., why??!!., because my mind and heart knows the truth., that this is how our story will still and eventually end., i would still chose your happiness over my own personal happiness., that the true you can never be change., and i don’t ever want to change the you that i loved inspite and despite of., and the love i wanted to create and the second chance i dreamed of can never be feasible.,
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